Chapter 2

Feminine Mystique
Chapter 2: The Happy Housewife Heroine

1. She has started quoting her references and that makes me happy.

2. My thought on the chapter:

I find myself being disgusted with the same ideas that Friedan is upset about when it comes to the "Picture Perfect Housewife." I'm not sure if we agree for quite the same reasons... I feel that outward appearances mean very little. Looking happy, fit and put together does not result in happiness at any level. Friedan talks about a popular women's magazine of the day: "The image of woman that emerges from this big, pretty magazine is young and frivolous, almost childlike; fluffy and feminine; passive; gaily content in a world of bedroom and kitchen, sex, babies, and home. The magazine surely does not leave out sex; the only passion, the only pursuit, the only goal a woman is permitted is the pursuit of a man. It is crammed full of food, clothing, cosmetics, furniture, an the physical bodies of young women, but where is the world of thought and ideas, the life of the mind and the spirit? In the magazine image, women do no work except housework and work to keep their bodies beautiful and to get and keep a man." p36
If this is true, if this is what these women were looking to for guidance, then I agree wholeheartedly that this is an issue! First of all, I think looking to culture and society for guidance is going in the incorrect direction. This is, of course, because I am a believer. If I were not, where else would I look than Oprah and Cosmopolitan?

"Occupation: Housewife." Friedan describes that some women were feeling inferior when they had to write 'housewife' on their census papers. They felt that they had wasted their education and goals and were now living vicariously through their children. They were not satisfied with what they had done. Before I say the next thing, let me preface with this: I do not think that every women is best suited as a housewife and I do not think there is anything wrong with a career woman. I think that both men and women need to make sure that their family is not being neglected because of that career. My question to these women would be: Why are you doing what you're doing? Are you a housewife simply because you think that is what 'the perfect woman' does? Then of course you are not satisfied! We need to ask ourselves what the purpose is behind any actions we take. The motivations behind the action is what will end up giving it fulfillment or making it feel empty.

The Pendulum Swing: Throughout every issue in history there is a pendulum swing. We go form one extreme to the other. Friedan talks about how the spirited women of the 20's and 30's become the submissive housewives of the 50's. I say it's the pendulum. We are all reacting to the things we did not like from the previous generation... the things that did not work out so well for our parents. Aren't we still doing that today? I talk to more women who want to be stay at home moms now because their mom's worked too much and never spent enough time with them. Maybe, then, our daughters will say that we gave up the chance at a greater purpose in life and they will ride the pendulum swing the other way. We shall see.

Politics and World Relations: One thing I definitely agree with Friedan about is that women are completely capable of understanding and being involved in politics and world affairs. God gave us brains and the ability to comprehend all of these things, obviously we need not be excluded form them.

Control: It seems that the goal of the 50's housewives was to have everything under complete control. That, as we know, is impossible. They wanted their kids to be perfect, they wanted to be able to control their husbands and run a well-oiled home. These are unattainable goals that even if they were attained have no redeeming results. We, as women, would still feel empty because we have done nothing for a greater purpose.

"A baked potato is not as big as the world, and vacuuming the living room floor - with or without makeup - is not work that takes enough thought or energy to challenge any woman's full capacity."p67 I agree. However, I do know some women who are not interested in intellectual stimulation for even world affairs, and there's nothing wrong with that. We are all created differently. I would not reach my full capacity by vacuuming floors either. I'm glad that I am not asked to. It seems that these women were asked to, and I understand, then, why they felt so empty. I grew up believing that it is more important to be pretty than to be smart, and my society tries to re-instill this in me everyday. Now if you are lucky enough to be pretty AND smart, you've got no issues. I also do not believe any of this and I think it all stems from the same place. Who are in we in Christ? The ONLY fulfilled women that I know are those who are confident in their identity as daughters of our Lord.

Chapter One: The Problem With No Name

Notes on The Feminine Mystique
Chapter one: The Problem With No Name

My first thought on reading this book: I have no idea what these women were actually thinking. I was not alive during the 1950's and I don't know many women who were mothers then. I'm planning on starting to volunteer at an assisted living home next week so maybe I'll have the opportunity to talk to some women who lived and breathed this movement. All that to say... when Friedan quotes women or psychoanalysts, there are no references to who these people are, which automatically makes me a little skeptical.
I cannot imagine that every woman in the 1950's was a secretly unhappy housewife. I know they had single mothers who lived outside of suburbia who had to work 12 hours a day in order to provide for their children. I'm sure they were not having the same thoughts on life. I'm looking forward to seeing if she mentions anyone other than upper middle class women. I would really like to hear about them.

"The Educated Housewife". Friedan quotes "Like a two-headed schizophrenic...once she wrote a paper on the Graveyard poets; now she writes notes to the milkman. Once she determined the boiling point of sulphuric acid; now she determines her boiling point with the overdue repairman... The housewife often is reduced to screams and tears... No one, it seems, is appreciative, least of all herself, of the kind of person she becomes in the process of turning from poetess into shrew." (pg 23).
Up front, I have an issue with this because I would love to be a housewife. Along with that, (and this is not for arrogance sake, but for mere observation), one of my professor's once told me that I had one of the most intelligent minds that had come through our University. So I ask myself, "would I be wasting my education by becoming a housewife? Would I be dulling my intelligence by raising children and keeping a home?" My answer... absolutely not. I think the issue is where these women were trying to find their fulfillment. Being the picture perfect housewife is not a goal to be obtained. Of course they felt empty! But to say that raising and caring for children and teaching them how to live and love is not a job that takes knowledge and wisdom is ludicrous. It all comes down to living for the Lord. My purpose is in Him alone and everything I do is for His glory. He satisfies me, not my husband or children (well, future husband and children, Lord willing).
Lastly, I know myself well enough to know that I need an intellectual outlet. I will definitely have to be involved is some form of learning and educating, whether that be learning a language or blogging about random books I'm reading. I will always need this and the Lord has given me that desire to do His will. Even if it is just leading a small bible study among housewives. P.S. I don't now if I will be a housewife. I plan on following where the Lord leads me wherever that may be.

"Feminine". I do agree with Friedan as she speaks against the definition of femininity being the picture picture housewife. I think that America has always struggled with what femininity really looks like. I looked up the origin of the word 'feminine': "ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin femininus, from femina ‘woman.’" So, feminine really just means woman. Therefore, a better question to ask than "what does being feminine look like?", would be, "What does being a woman look like?" We can get down to basics here, (pardon the bluntness), and say that a woman is the gender of humans that possesses breasts, ovaries, a uterus and a vagina. However, what we struggle with more is the character and personality traits that make us differ from men. Thankfully we do have some examples of women that the Lord finds praiseworthy. What better advice could we ask for than the Lord's? I won't quote the references here for length sake but I'l give the address in case you'd like to read the passages I am speaking of: Proverbs 31:10-31, 1 Tim 2:9-10, 1 Pet 3: 1-6... those are some meaty ones to check out!

Notes on Chap 2 coming soon! Let me know your thoughts on the ideas above :)

Notes on the Feminine Mystique

I've decided to read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. I often find myself disagreeing with feminist concepts when they have come up in conversation or in my own personal study. I have also found that Christian women sometimes differ greatly in their opinions on the equality of women in society, in the workplace, in the home and in the church. Since I feel have done a decent amount of study biblically on the issue, I have decided to look more deeply into the root issues of American Feminism from the perspective of a woman who is known to be a great entrepreneur in this area. There is a quote on the front of the book, (at least the edition currently in my possession), that states, "(The Feminine Mystique) changed the world so comprehensively that it's hard to remember how much change was called for." - New York Times Book Review. On the first page of the book one quote reads, "The most important book of the twentieth century is The Feminine Mystique. Betty Friedan is to women what Martin Luther King Jr. was to blacks." - Barbara Seaman, author of Free and Female. Apparently, this work is taken very seriously, so what better way to see a different perspective?

I sat down at the Salem Public Library yesterday and began to read this book. A couple of pages into it I was agreeing with some statements, disagreeing with others and am not knowledgeable enough of a few areas to even have an opinion yet. It occurred to me that I would like to discuss this book with people and not just read it... yell at it... and most likely throw it across the room. Therefore, I am starting a blog... this blog to be exact. So, as I brave through the waters of a book that catapulted a movement I've never been fond of, I hope that you will give me your opinions of the statements I make and answer questions that I ask. If I only have myself I'm definitely going to form incorrect opinions. I'm a sinner and I need accountability in all areas, even if I have the best of motives.

All this to say, I really want this conversation about feminism to glorify the Lord. I hope and pray that reading this book and discussing it will bring me (and whoever else wants to participate) closer to knowing what the Lord desires for His daughters and the amazing love and plans that He has for each of us.

I'll post my first thoughts on the first section of the book soon!

-Melissa