Notes on The Feminine Mystique
Chapter one: The Problem With No Name
My first thought on reading this book: I have no idea what these women were actually thinking. I was not alive during the 1950's and I don't know many women who were mothers then. I'm planning on starting to volunteer at an assisted living home next week so maybe I'll have the opportunity to talk to some women who lived and breathed this movement. All that to say... when Friedan quotes women or psychoanalysts, there are no references to who these people are, which automatically makes me a little skeptical.
I cannot imagine that every woman in the 1950's was a secretly unhappy housewife. I know they had single mothers who lived outside of suburbia who had to work 12 hours a day in order to provide for their children. I'm sure they were not having the same thoughts on life. I'm looking forward to seeing if she mentions anyone other than upper middle class women. I would really like to hear about them.
"The Educated Housewife". Friedan quotes "Like a two-headed schizophrenic...once she wrote a paper on the Graveyard poets; now she writes notes to the milkman. Once she determined the boiling point of sulphuric acid; now she determines her boiling point with the overdue repairman... The housewife often is reduced to screams and tears... No one, it seems, is appreciative, least of all herself, of the kind of person she becomes in the process of turning from poetess into shrew." (pg 23).
Up front, I have an issue with this because I would love to be a housewife. Along with that, (and this is not for arrogance sake, but for mere observation), one of my professor's once told me that I had one of the most intelligent minds that had come through our University. So I ask myself, "would I be wasting my education by becoming a housewife? Would I be dulling my intelligence by raising children and keeping a home?" My answer... absolutely not. I think the issue is where these women were trying to find their fulfillment. Being the picture perfect housewife is not a goal to be obtained. Of course they felt empty! But to say that raising and caring for children and teaching them how to live and love is not a job that takes knowledge and wisdom is ludicrous. It all comes down to living for the Lord. My purpose is in Him alone and everything I do is for His glory. He satisfies me, not my husband or children (well, future husband and children, Lord willing).
Lastly, I know myself well enough to know that I need an intellectual outlet. I will definitely have to be involved is some form of learning and educating, whether that be learning a language or blogging about random books I'm reading. I will always need this and the Lord has given me that desire to do His will. Even if it is just leading a small bible study among housewives. P.S. I don't now if I will be a housewife. I plan on following where the Lord leads me wherever that may be.
"Feminine". I do agree with Friedan as she speaks against the definition of femininity being the picture picture housewife. I think that America has always struggled with what femininity really looks like. I looked up the origin of the word 'feminine': "ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin femininus, from femina ‘woman.’" So, feminine really just means woman. Therefore, a better question to ask than "what does being feminine look like?", would be, "What does being a woman look like?" We can get down to basics here, (pardon the bluntness), and say that a woman is the gender of humans that possesses breasts, ovaries, a uterus and a vagina. However, what we struggle with more is the character and personality traits that make us differ from men. Thankfully we do have some examples of women that the Lord finds praiseworthy. What better advice could we ask for than the Lord's? I won't quote the references here for length sake but I'l give the address in case you'd like to read the passages I am speaking of: Proverbs 31:10-31, 1 Tim 2:9-10, 1 Pet 3: 1-6... those are some meaty ones to check out!
Notes on Chap 2 coming soon! Let me know your thoughts on the ideas above :)
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Without having read the first chapter, I appeciate your insight. My mother was a stay-at-home Mom in the sixties and I can tell you she loved it! She is intelligent and well-read but she also enjoyed raising four children in the Lord and felt rewarded doing so. To my knowledge she has never regreted staying home to raise a family and my father is thankful for her attentiveness to what is really more imporatant than making money.
ReplyDeleteI was able to work at home while my children were young and, although I was both a "housewife" and a business owner, my biggest reward is still the young women of God I raised.
There is nothing wrong with staying at home and bringing up children to be God fearing adults. But, there is nothing wrong with working either. Granted, I believe God's ideal for us as women is to put our families before our careers, but I also believe that is His intent for the men also.
Thanks for your input and observations, Mel. Enjoyed reading it!
Hey Melisa, it's Stephen Fink!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog here and mostly agree with you. I've been learning a lot lately about the differences between men and women (mostly due to a relationship I've had recently, but elsewhere as well). It really seems to me now that women are well suited for their Biblical (or at least historical) family role, in a deeper way than I had previously supposed. I will pray for you to find a husband and have the privilege of raising kids! =)